I just very recently turned 35 – a point in life where, according to my ideals, I should have a pretty good idea of where I’m going, and how to get there.
But no. I don’t.
I graduated from university more than 10 years ago, found a job that I don’t want to quit 7 years ago, and I got married 3 years ago. If I were to have children, perhaps I don’t have to worry about what happens next – I’d either be trying hard to get pregnant, or striving to keep my head above the water as I try to raise them.
But we’ve decided to stay child-free (I may come back to the reason why if you are interested). So I ask myself – what next?
Since landing on an agreeable job and getting married, life has settled onto a certain pattern. There are the mundane daily chores – I never forget what’s on the to-do list, but I don’t always do them as soon as I should. And there are things that I like to do. I have quite a few hobbies (thus the carp that crafts!) and enjoy going on a hike once in a while with my husband. But hey, don’t you have the feeling that the sentences above are kind of boring?
I feel that I’m in a perpetual state of mild boredom. I’m not saying that my husband, friends and family are boring. They are great and we have a lot of fun together. It’s just that there is no goal to achieve and no finish line to cross. It is that same feeling I got when I used cheat codes on computer games to become invincible. It was great and I didn’t have to be scared of losing (or dying) any more. And then 5 more minutes into the game, I got bored and turned it off.
I do not want my life to be this game.
So I started this blog. I want to document a journey which I embark on right here, right now, with all of the people who come across this page and feel that it strikes a chord. I will share my thoughts, tell you what I’ve been trying and how they are turning out, and see where I go from here.
I’m sure I’m not alone in my venture.
And I’m sure I will get somewhere.